Tell them to piss into their own eyes 'til they turn blind.

gotoAndDie("now");

Just search the word 'how' and if it turns up in a PM respond:

Good luck man I liked it keep practicing.

or

Yeah just buy it keep practicing you'll be very good; you're better than I was when I started LMFAOOO!!!! ;D

or just say something like learn to type and talk before you jump ahead and try to draw you retarded piece of shit why the fuck would I take more than 5 seconds out of my day to help you draw a circle for your mario ball z tribute you FUCK

Hey, telling the people who ask for your advice to eat shit isn't exactly the way to go. Just show 'em the flash tutorial collection page here and that should get them to stop.

tell them that you have to finish a game and Tank men 3 that you can't help them. then you have to go return video tapes afterwards.

Step 1: play any FPS game with mouse sensitivity set to max

Step 2: continue playing with max sensitivity ( preferably on a tablet, but a mouse is fine too ) until you can aim and get instant head shot with one shot with in a half-second.

step 3: try to draw a cock pillow ( or anything for all i care ) and if it turns out like shit, rinse and repeat.

Tell them to send you Polaroids of their urine snakes

tell em to keep drawing u will get better. or sugest some art class. or a book on drawing

Don't be an ass, answer the poor man's question.
I think the whole "so how can I make good flashes?" question could potentially be answered with a simple "YOU CAN'T" and a hilariously degrading animated .gif that is best left up to your imagination.

tell him that if he can't draw, he might aswell just make those shitty pixel flashes or no flashes at all.

A real knee slapper? Now THAT'S what I'd like to see as an animated gif. Haven't had a good knee slap since nigh on thirty years.

You could tell him to wait until he's old enough to use proper grammar then he might be better at drawing.

hire a proper speaking mercenary 2 teach them a lesson.....literally

Uhhh... Books? Read Books?

you can be his best friend in the world
or you can tell him "FUCK YOU"

whatever.

I heard trying works, but who knows

let stamper handle it

um... tell them to use sprites

Just steal his lunch money everyday for the next 6 years.

I don't really know what the problem is, I can't draw and none of my friends can draw and I still manage to get by.

When I get those, I tell them to go to the Collections section, and go to "Flash Tutorials" and have them watch those. There's also the Action Script section of the Forum http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/2 29808/9999 that has all those tutorials. So basically I throw them those links and tell them good luck. When they ask how to draw, I tell them to practice by copying other people until they're comfortable enough to have their own style. That, and draw from life. I want to be a dick to them, but just can't bring myself to do it. Sort of like how you feel when people ask you how to make their animation about crotchless chaps work. :3

Tell them to look up some art in the Art portal and analyze how they draw out there characters

Or you could tell them that in order for them to optimize their computer for flash, they need to get rid of some clutter on their HDD. So they need to go to C:\, go to the Windows folder, scroll down to "System32", right click, and delete.

You have to be born with pen instead of arm or you are artistic failure. XD

I have that eat shit form letter from you, in case you need a copy of it back.

Am a fun of your work too! What a coincidence.

But to be serious. Tell them to practice drawing for a while. An art class would probably help. But if you draw long enough you do get much better at it. To bad it takes like 6 months to get good at drawing if you were complete shit before.

And why is Ching Chong Beautiful taking so much time?

direct them to me, so they become a fan of MY work and leave you alone. :)

who are you

use sprites

Tell them, in order to create a flash you must a media application.
For example, Macromedia Flash 8.
An application that is fairly good is around 200-300 pounds, but I'm sure you could use ToonBoom or some other free software.

If you want to create a good flash, it will take you along time so don't bother if you don't have the patience.

Drawing technique goes down to the source of it. If you can't draw, then try to learn. However, even if you were a great artist, you'd need to learn how a flash comes together.
-------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
-----------------------------
As for his grammer, it is pretty poor and he could possibly have out more effort in if he was interested enough.

Shoot, I just read all the spelling mistakes I made in the above post.

Oh bother :/

Advice you should give him.
------
You have to at least practice drawing. But if practicing drawing isn't enjoyable, then you probably won't make any flashes.

It's important to do what feels 'natural' to you. Sure everyone wants to do things, but unless you are willing to commit yourself, then it's just a dream. A fantasy.

If you don't wanna practice, you won't get anywhere with anything.

Tell them kindly:
You motherfucking son of bastard bitch, i would like to inform you that i am not your stubid ass mother that fucks with people for no reason(not even money) and i will NOT animate your dumbass movie that is the bastard child of an 13 year olds(stuck home in NG) idea.Also i believe you should do the following as a piece of advice to improve your flash:
EAT SHIT UNTILL YOUR STOMACH BLOWS UP YOU FUCKED PIECE OF HORSESHIT

1. tape tablet pen to dick
2. mash face into keyboard whilst waggling dick upon tablet
3. export .swf

None of my friends can't draw? What the hell? a lot of it doesnt make any sense but you should help him out and deliver the advice with the ol' JohnnyUtah charm if you know what im sayin ;)

You really need help.

Tell them you have no experience in flash what so ever.

Wow, some admins are such dicks.

You make flash? It's just been so long since your last one I forgot.

Just link them to lemonparty and tell them it is a site filled with lots of flash tutorials.

use sprites....

Just tell us the kids name

If they are relying on friend's, tell them, "then get ones that do" end of, done, nothing more etc. Then again, if you want a more kind, less sarcastic approach, I suppose you could just go with what one of the guys said below, "take a class".

It really depends on what help the kid is asking for, really. Maybe answer back with a question then whatever the contents are, give your advice based off that alone.

<Dick joke>

Do you really get PMs like that from time to time?

Oh wow, do I laugh or cry?

Just tell them that its practise and hard work. Thats what basically everything breaks down to :/

UltraPitchfork

Wow...i think that I actually sent yo a PM like that when I first started on here and wanted to learn to make flash. I feel so stupid now D:

gotoAndDie("now");

Here's the perfect letter:

Hello, it appears you are the most recent victim of hysteria. The only known cure of hysteria is for you to remove your clothing and for me to massage your female fun parts until you're all better.

Gets em every time ;D

Hmm, I don't know man. Calm down and go eat some of Tylers burrito.

Teaching him how to draw....DUH!

"EAT SHIT"

Dont you just want to hug him

http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/
flashtutorials
Think Utah, THINK!

what about telling them to "DRINK PISS" as well as eating shit to have a perfectly balanced meal of their own (or someone else's) waste

I think you should respond as such:
Dear grammatically impaired sir,
If you wish for my advice I will give you as such, please take note;
I suggest so gleefully that you may grasp your phallic parts by the grip of your rather grubby digits and place your phallus in close proximity to a grind stone. I am unaware why this should help your horrendous drawing skills improve, but you did insist on my advice. I then further instruct you to take a plastic carrying bag, available at your closest market, and gently wrap the plastic bag around your head. If you find it hard to breath, then this is exceptional, for this is my attempt to remove your genetics from existence and there for clean the world of your pitiful existence by use of natural selection. I presume by now you are aware this is a ruse for I do not wish to give you advice, nor do I wish to make communications with your type anylong, so on a farewell note I instruct that you do so fornicate with yourself and digest your own feces.
Sincerely,
Sir Johnathan Utah of Philly

Take art lessons?
Come on, let this potential flower bloom!

How about "Go to hell?"

Emote slap him across the face and demand him to make a sandwich and drive it to you and give him a false promise of teaching him after receiving the sandwich? ;>_>

tell them to send their PMs to Luis instead

Well maby they need to get in contcat with the newground artist its not that fucken hard

Simply don't be an asshole and help him out. You are an extremely gifted animator after all...

You could probably send them a link to your post on your vid you made of you drawing judge dread.

Let them to LEARN how to draw. You can't move forward without KNOWLEDGE.

Tell them it's not easy.
It takes hard work and dedication to do anything with one self in general.
To become great at anything requires practice, self-motivation, drive, depression, recovery, acceptance, and a sense of self worth. Tell them to ponder these thoughts along with their affinity for flash development.

Then, advise them to acquire large quantities of lotion (unscented) and/or vasoline. With inventory of these items, tell them to go online and search for flash resources, and every time they stray from the path of flash enlightenment via porn and massively monotonous moments of momentous masturbation messes; they should tell themselves that they aren't worthy of becoming a flash artist/programmer. Then give them a link to some porn site in the guise of flash tutelage.

Do this, and you'll hopefully have avoided any responsibility for such misguided souls.

Should they return, just repeat. They'll eventually stop bugging you when they discover what ATM means and what an Anal Creampie looks like.

say "I am not here at the moment please die after the tone, BEEP"

pretend like you give a shit and give them a link to the ng tutorials page.
then say it takes hard work to be as good as you at drawing...
well lip syncing anyway.
lol.
do you use any special way to lip-sync?

i think i'm going to pm someone.
(who could it be?)

tell them to think realy hard

Just put "no u!" I dunno, I see that in the forums a lot.

let Bob decide what to do with this social area.

Fisheye Lens the entire movie. Do it.

reply to my comment.

Tell them to take tutorials or art classes.

Hay!!
do you think you will could post a video of how you approch a flash and how you animate it???

well you should probably take a serious look at his artworks and see what the problem is and (if they are good enough for you to bother) you should give him a few pointer and i would recommend telling him about the animators bible im not kidding its actually a really good resource

Now that you posted this publicly, everyone will purposely send you poorly written messages in hopes that you post them, as well!

did you try telling them to believe, yes? how about "watch how to be newgrounds animator god pt 1 & 2?"

aw yeah...

Tell him to keep drawing until he gets better or ask him to post a blog on Newgrounds to see if he can find an artist.

All you need to draw is a penis

'listen dude, you're only 17..

trust me when I say this - you practice hard and it will pay off. the more you draw and animate the better you get. I'd suggest doing some life drawing...be it animals or family sitting on the couch, or plants, etc. That stuff may sound boring, but it gives you a good foundation on how to draw people from various angles, as well as the correct proportions...then once you have that down you can go draw em stylized and they'll look that much better.

you should just try and focus on what you want to do specifically...like be an animator, or a concept artist, etc. and work towards that.

dont give up, you can do it.'

Thats what I got in reply when I sent one of those under the influence of awesome chemicals, somewhat of a confidence boost.
I think you're softer than you let on mr Utah

i wish i was cool enough to get an "eat shit" pm

tell them it takes practice and that if they cant after that to go to a class but in a long response and somewhere in there add a cock joke

I would reply with a link to a random wikipedia page. i'm sure he'll think its related and read the entire page more than once.

tell them they dont actually have to be a very good drawer to make good flash vids , story is what its about mainly
but the more you practice the better you get
and there are tons of tutorials in case they dont know how to draw something

wow your a pompus ass hole. i hope you burn in hell you think your so great. well guess what you make flshe videos on a crappy site your no god. whats your real job faggot??your flashes arent even that good voer rated at best.

Tell them that I, Ricky Brown, love them and that's all that matters!

tell them to watch a full hour of M.A.S.H each and every day, as well as drinking a glass of milk.

Happy Birthday!!
.. right?

Send them to the General Forum, where they make a topic about it, before it is locked and they are sent to the Flash forum. There, they shall post the same topic, where it shall be locked and them sent to the Flash tutorial page.
About a day later, they'll be asking in the Flash forums again, saying that the tutorials are too hard and they want an easy way to make Flash animations. Then everyone in the Flash forum will have to put up with them for the next few weeks.

It's the circle of life.

Say you'll teach them in trade for drinking your, "milk".

tell em' drawing like Jeff Bandelin it's impossible because you are just too fucking good. There are some tutorials in this site that simply sucks and will get you no where (In the immortal words of Alex-SF collab "... this void of worthlessness...", but there are others that do work. It's a freaking pandoras box.

If I could give you a quick advice just draw a decent dick and have something funny to say and you are half way there, it's done wonders for Stamper.

i think its too late to think about what to tell him if your reading this and still stumped. because hes probly aready read it

tell them they have to drink the blood of a very great artist and eat their flesh to gain their abilities. Then they'll be able to draw and make "good flashes".

just be sure they cant find you.

Make a fun and humorous but educational tutorial for them or point them in the way of someone that can. (=

Have a reply that says: "who ever sent this stupid message gets a visit from Gigantor"

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /498203

Just link them to the tutorial section. You don't want to piss them off so they never come back...or do you...

So just link them to something useful.

Tell them that if they already bought flash take ur time. u dont have to dazzle all of newgrounds with ur first flash submision ever. if u dont have a lot of time, dont rush but dont take too long. let the people know if ur doing something like this. make them anticipate for a flash. dont forget to think of a good name and storyline, or if its just a fighting flash, screw the storyline and focus on the action. dont try voice acting in a fighting flash. if ur using sprites make sure to give credit to all sources and original owners. if ur voice isnt good for voice acting, get a freind or someone on newgrounds to help u. if u can get someone famous for their voice acting, it will be a big subbmision, and u will get a high score. i hope this helps those new to flash. and if they havent bought flash yet and cant draw for crap, dont buy it.

You could say, " No. NO I CAN'T!" That always works for me.

what is mean the knee slapper?

Teach them everything you know.

tell them practice (gives link to flash collection)

Tell them that if they want to be great like you then they have to work hard and actually want it. They have to have that drive that forces their inspiration and creativity onto that white background cause they want to be known. They want that feeling that the GREAT flash artists get when they've accomplished something meaningful and all the (somewhat) awesome comments that come with it. If they want it bad enough, then they shouldn't need to ask someone for help. If they're stuck in something that's hard then sure ask someone. But for people just starting out, they need to practice and work at it until they find out what their style is.

And above all, practice!

Just disregard them.

When you're that age, it's better to have someone you look up to "pretend" to be too busy to respond.

It goes a hell of a lot further than utterly shitting on them for asking what should be a very simple question for you.

Jam a pogo stick up your ass, and bounce up and down on your wacom until your printer farts out a photo perfect Mona Lisa.

ignore them and go on with your life ?

!! warning profile has adult content !!

just do the classic "look, i am a really busy guy and i can't give advice to everyone all i can say is keep at it and keep practicing if you are really that passionate about then you will get it"

Tell them to read teh tutorials.But first buy flash.

rape them with that huge cock

if u want to be formal say

"my good sir i thank you for taking interest in my work but im sorry to inform you that i dont give a shit about your problems. if you want to make flashes go learn and stop pestering fine artists like my handsome self."

then make a cock joke at the end. the informal way is just a plain cock joke. good luck

tell emto fuck off and wait a sex your johnny utah man go sapm that bitch who can delete you...........exsackly

You make good flashes by taking time out of your life to actually STUDY and CARE about it. For FUCKS SAKE is GOOGLE BROKEN? I mean do you seriously need me to reply with a step by MOTHER FUCKING STEP guide to USING GOOGLE TO LOOK UP THESE FLASH BASICS. I would love to but there are so many more important things a man like myself has to do like...breathing...eating...shitting.
..sucking dicks...breathing agian. I would say eat shit but then you would reply wanting a step by step guide for that.
/end reply

I watched a youtube video of you at a con saying in a joking form that you suck dicks so if you feel thats insulting/stupid you can remove it and use the rest. Otherwise I hope this helps get ya going on finishing it up.

While I think it is a lil mean I have learned that to a certian extent you should really come to people like you (masters of the craft to a certian extent) with somewhat basic knowledge of the craft (art/flash) and mispelling "fan" doesn't help their case either.

Ho-k. So...I read a post where some guy ot the effect said "eat flash players to get better" as the response. Now I understand what your looking for and as such want to do my best to give you the best response

"Hey thank you so much for messaging me about how to be a flash artist. I really love helping out young people who need a leg up. Now here's exactly how I, myself, became an amazing newgrounds flash artist.

First, I found a flash artist whose style I liked. Second I removed a body part, It doesn't matter how small or tall, pretty or ugly, fat or skinny they were I took a piece of that artist and brought it home. Next (and this is tricky) I put it all together into working human body parts. After that it was only a matter of attaching them to my own body to give me that extra arms and tail-legs that made me so great. (I often draw with my tail feet the best body parts I have.) I hope this helps you be the best there is!"

Hope this amuses you

tell them to try to find someone who does know how to or they could try to take a art class. Tell them to take their time because a job done fast gets done but a job done with paitence gets done right.

tell him "I would help you,but you seem to be preocoupied pissing yourself"Or act like you care and give him a link to a porn site.

To be honest if you want to make good flash, dedicate yourself to it. There are thousands of books on drawing such as The complete idiot's guide to drawing manga or Drawing for dummies. They sound embarrasing but they can really help you along. And if they want some sort of get amazingly good quick scheme, they're S.O.L. Drawing is not something that should be rushed, time effort and dedication are big parts that make up great art. Michelangelo didn't fresco the sistine chapel in a day. Not to mention that you aren't born an artist or magically have talent, you build it up over time. Granted there are going to be some problems, even the best artists have them, it's how you get through them that counts. Just stick to your guns and you will be making great flash soon enough.

TELL THAT LITTLE PRICK TO STAY IN SCHOOL!!!

it's understandable to make mistakes while writing... BUT WTF!

if he can't draw and his friends can't draw then there is a good chance he can't make good flashes...

itll be easier to just record your shenanigans then put it on youtube

Advise them to build a shed, lock themselves in for 5 years, and makes friends with the mouse there. Their skills will become superb with the 5 year solitary experience of drawing.

tell them to keep practicing and or try sprite animations

Tell them to not expect help from people on the internet since most are jerks, and the popular people are usually too lazy to answer each PM. Ohboythat'sbadadviceright?

Tell them to keep practicing. After all practice makes perfect right (but nobodies perfect so why practice)?

If he's is serious about such a project he should get out and find an artist with who may have similar interest? Check a local college or cyber cafe with viewable art and engage in conversation. Artist these days enjoy people who take interest and are likely to comply. His/her ideas and his/her art will be displayed for all to see and that's really helpful for the both of them.

Suggest them to Art classes, or tell them to keep on drawing till they are better, then they can make good skill come to life.

Take drawing classes?

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

Even site stafff members can successfully troll.

send him to eddsworld.co.uk and have him look at the oldedst flashes then the newest

Just tell him if he can't draw don't draw tell em to got to an art class

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

Tell them that next time they think of sending you a pm they should press Alt-F4.

Secks up ur man

Tell them to delete there system32 folder.

Well since problems are just opportunities in disguise, how about you make a film/tutorial poking fun at the mater and briefly letting them know it takes years and years work to make decent stuff and put them on the right track...

Actually just tell them to buy a sketch book and a lot of 2b pencils and get drawing, if they really want to make good flashes they'll get there eventually and add you to the special thanxes of their master pieces... such an honor ;)

Or you could follow Gonzossm's advice and you won't hear from them until they get their comp repaired...

plz reply to dis i am ur biggest fan
thnk u

use sprites?

Well, just because none of you can draw doesn't meen you can't have fun making any flashes. You don't have to share them, and they don't have to be the best. You don't NEED to be a good drawer, just have an imaginitave mind. =)

From,
Coldkey

Tell them to try to make some animations and upload them, only the practice will make them better animators.

tell them to take up tracing until they get better with shapes and different figures or (god forbid) you can tell them to use clay animation

tell them to make pixel flashof thier favorite video game or sumtin like that

try try try again, wait why are you asking me,
i still need to learn flash....

just make a badly drawn flash most peopel taht do that like egorapter hes the best at drawing but he makes it look bad but he made so meny fans.

hey leave egoraptor alone jerk!

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

A good reply would be:

"I think instead of learning flashes, you should learn some decent spelling and punctuation!"

*Thumbs up*

Tell them nothing of the secret world of Flash. NOTHING!

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

BIG PAPERCLIP TOXIC PANDAS THAT SHOOT CHEESE COVERED FUBARS

I just started in flash and I'm an okay drawer. But what I've been doing is making them be fast paced so the veiwers wouldnt be able to tell they were bad.

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

You should totally make a meet n fuck flash game.

Ask them for some advice on flash.

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

1. Buy a Wacom tablet.
2. Eat it.
3. Die.

Well then, how about asking them to go ask other game techies and leave you alone?(vulgarities appreciatd)

or maybe just get a standard answer to put in everytime, like "EAT SHIT" or something

Wow, there's hardly any advice in the comments that you could have used...maybe I can help (bet I can't haha)

Well, if someone wanted ME to give them advice about flash, I would probably tell them to find some basic software that I used before and tell them a few tips on how to start off. Also, I would definitely tell them to show they're friends any newly-made flashes tey make before submitting anything to NG. Gotta keep the site clean of spam! And I would add some encouragement maybe...depending on how well-typed the PM was (i hate too many typos, especially when they are in all caps or something to that effect).

Hope I helped a little! But hey, how can I help a staff member? Haha.

Reply with this;

"Am u no, graet artist iz fromed in maor tehn one day friend, n I liek 2 taek time myself, and none can get done wat i hav in day or 2, so u no it taeks time.

Jus b urself n mebbe 1 day ull c dat art iz da reel shit piss dawg, liek don playa haet, cnogratulaet n none will do dat."

I've become quite in-tune with the ways of using grammar as a weapon of sadistic torture, as many have already done-so without even trying. Throw in a couple "mudkipz" and you'll make his head explode. I promise.

Dick jokes always work.

i did not like the transformer :(

You actually reply to PMs... that's your first problem Jeffery.

Switch to a standerd FUCK OFF

tell him to make a sprite movie

You should be flattered by those PMs, Im sure the best thing to do is to just ignore them, Im sure the will stay a "fun" of youre work no matter what.

Make the best tutorial on this site, you big dummy.

Or tell them to fuck off to DA.

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

I would encourage these kids. Even though they are annoying, we all began as one of them.

8=====D

i hope this comment has helped.

just tell them to look at some tutorials or art class :)

I made you a new and improved form letter.

EAT SHIT AND DIE

You're very welcome, good sir.

tell him to get some classes, art teachers,draw what they want, or just watch anime.

if that doesn't work then he really sucks.

well thats what i did (except for the first one)

or you could just go to his house and torture him everyday untill he draws good.

Say "Suck it"

1. Date me (on a date)

first say you don't give a fuck it's not your problem than tell him to go fuck off this is a site for people that love flash and want to make, its not some site were retarded idiotic people think we give a shit about thier problem

Create an alt account and ask them to collaborate with you on one of your cartoons. Then collaborate with them and purposefully do a really bad job with it. Then when it's all done, submit the .swf under your original account name.

As has been said before, tell him to take art classes, or even to go to an art store and pick up some "How to draw -insert whatever here-" books. There are plenty out there from realistic to manga to what have you. It is very difficult to properly teach someone something over the internet.

Also there are flash tutorials online, my high school even gave lessons in how to use basic flash. Tell them how you started.

Also, remind them that their first output will probly be crap. It always is for your first time. It takes practice to make skill, and practice takes time. So practice when your young and have time to do shit.

Also, remind him that good grammar makes flash easier to enjoy, as its easier to read words (or listen should they have voice actors), and easier to understand. Poor grammar and English destroys the clarity of the message that one is trying to get across.

Most of that has been said before I'm sure... if not, well then there's my advice. Do hope it's helpful.

tell them: it dousnt really matter how the drawing looks like as long as u know wat the drawing is,and if ur not sur if other peaple wont know wat it is just ask ur freinds if they under stand it. and try making stickfiguire (or somthin similer) flashes,those can do pretty well if u animate the movments well. and to not worry about blams alot just try again thayll get it some time

Please don't tell Luis it was my idea though...

tell em to take their style of drawing and use it no one care as long as i laugh and if all else fails sprites

Tell them to get a flash education tour for $300 this summer before they go to school, major in "fine [sames shit for centuries] art and fully develop into Artfagimons, then they must buy the latest recording/animating/tablet tools and masturbate about how big their e-cock is on Newgrounds!

is it really that hard to animate anyway? All you need is a good storyboard, sound files and solid drawing skills which you should have learned from the art schools.

tell him first of all to learn how to speak english properly and secondly if he can't draw he should quit while he's ahead XD well that would be my response so ya

meh you could tell him that in order to draw well you need to be able to use you r hands, then recommend he removes them from his ass and maybe, just maybe he'll draw better!

please disregard my first comment as my second one is better also tell him to look for the spitting python.

Just tell him he only needs to know how to draw a penis here on newgrounds

If you can't draw or do actionscript you probally shouldn't be allowed to be on Newgrounds. GTFO!

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

simply tell them youu can`t (or don`t want to) help them... if theyre normal people they should get over it...

Tell them to rip out their assholes and hang themselves with it.

tell em to sit down at there computer with 50 HB-4B pencils 500 sheets of paper
Check out any anime/manga or cartoon HOW TO websites
Tell him to look at, get info and copy drawings from that website for one whole day
ONE WHOLE DAY ( 23 hours is not acceptable)
If it turns out he still can't draw for S#%T tell him to do it again BUT...
this time do it for an hour extra. if same results occur
repeat, but again increase by one hour. and keep doing so until staisfied
if this does not get results I dunno what will

Well I don't know about them but I had to recommend YOU for the art portal :3

But in all reality, drawing is half the battle.
If they can't draw, then go away until they can.
All they need is practicepracticepracticepracticepract icepracticepracticepracticepracticepr acticepracticepractice.......

Less QQ Moar ...Draw Draw

just tell them to try their best and all that shit

then just give them ideas

tell them to learn to draw or eat shit?

You can say that U can't help them by doing flashes 4 them but you can give some helpfull advice like drawing et.s.

Learn it yourself you dumb cunt. (Learn to draw yourself you dumb cunt.)

Or find an animator on the forums. (Perhaps even to draw a shitty animation and get better)

If you can't draw? Sprites.

Practice makes perfect. You can draw you just haven't developed the skill to draw to you true potential. Anybody can draw just need practice. Try just making stick figure fights or full bodys learning things and use delevop your skill. Thats what I would do.

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

2 girls 1 cup

You should refer them to FBIpolux. He's a pretty helpful dude mang.

http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=1864149

Glad to help the greatest author on Ng. Show them the flash tutorial Tomfulp made or tell them to practise well on flash player before submitting and they'll get better within each flash.

I would tell them to learn how to speak and write English first.

cant you say: Eat frog poop, you untalented fuck!

introduce him to your new friends Mr. straitjacket and Mr. machine gun

When people send a query like this to you, send a cover letter containing a simple "Thank You" and provide a little direction: send 'em a link to the Flash Tutorials section of the site. There are plenty of good links there, including the 30-day trial package.

It's generally considered bad form to inquire an admin or "Newgrounds God" about any assistance they can directly provide (because we're fundamentally human, not gods), but the best thing you get out of this is that they're grateful for your work, and that they aspire to match or surpass you in some fashion.

Maybe they can... or maybe not.

Either way, be polite and gracious, and never stoop so low as to insist upon them pissing on themselves three or four times until the inclination to use Macromedia Flash is ejected from their system. That's just poor form, and far below the dignity of a "Newgrounds God".

WHAT

Just tell them to keep at it and even though your art may look crap at start, you'll get better, and better and eventually (if you're lucky) become king of the portal. . .

No but seriously, just tell them to keep at it and they're eventually progress through there art and animation, show them some tutorials and let them be on their way, it'll make your life much easier :3

I don't think you were really asking for advice, but fuck it...

Tell him what you'd want to hear at his age (if you were to ask one of your favorite artists how they do their work). If you didn't want to hear anything, tell him that, and explain why his approach isn't correct.

cockjoke.

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

"your mother smells like a mango" though if you need to draw I strongly suggest rolling in dog flanagans.

Alternatively they could pay someone to draw for them, but I believe that is called prostitution and is illegal in 12 cities in mexico. Not That I would know, being from ireland and all.

Theres no way these guys can suceed. Give him the gentle put down. Rub his shoulder, tip your hat to him and be on your way. Your only ruining his life.

Tell them to come to this page to read all the helpful comments that people have given them.

Well, you DID help me out when i came to asking for some Collab Tips on filesize and such - Thanks again :D Much appriciated :)

you should just tell them to make pixels until they learn to draw. that would be letting them down gently

um... i don't really have advice... uh, how about you buy macromedia flash player? or just steal it :D

well what i suggest is:
1. tell them that you're too buzy now but eventually you'll give him advice (eventually is NEVER)

2. tell him to ask other artist on NG that could help him out, that collabs aren't bad at all

WWJD???!?!??

He would blow up their house.

Duh.

I love you.

If you ignore it long enough, they'll start their own mini community of flirtatious animu/trolls somewhere else.
How I got flash will be a thing of the past.

Wouldnt it be grat if you dropped dead and dont have to live this life of misery any longer?

Lol tell them to take an art class or something and learn how to draw!! Lol. Or tell them to read a book about drawing! I hope that helps!!! :D

Lol... jaust say EAT SHIT.

i got a goood one. u say, alright, well where do u live? cause i can be at ur house by 10 o'clock tomorow, but im gonna need ur address so i can tell Fulp where to land the helicopter.

You need to send them the link to the Rick Roll'd vid, that's a knee slapper!

You should tell them to get other people to draw for them!(DUH)

EAT SHIT.

yes, i'm talking to you.

Just pimp slap em
that always gets the job done

tell them to get over it

Tell them that if you needed to be a good artist to make flashes there would be 3 times less flashes in the Internet.I mean,seriously.Half the flash around here looks like its creator used a wad of shitty toilet paper to draw,and it's still fun.

Hmm well tell them to get a sketch book or something like and sketch the characters and after mastering them to make a flash out of those characters or objects they sketched!

Try telling them to take an art class.
I once sucked at drawing, but after I took that class my drawing had improved dramatically (note the little picture of a tree I drew and use as my small image).

-Aaroca-

What about dan padalin

Tell him to look on google for tutorials mabey... I found one how to make wings! =)
It could help... otherwise you could ask him or her to take art classes. :P

Tell him just 2 practice and look for turtorials on the net. its actually that hard to make a flash.

If someone ever asked me that, I'd say, "where do you get off trying to make a flash? Does newgrounds not seem flooded enough with trash from people like you who keep submitting there stupid little '1st submission' where they beg you in the comments to show mercy, but i never show mercy!!! And it is a fact that if you are well known like egoraptor or some rapist, then you're going to automatically get a higher score because you have fans who love you. But if you submit a great flash and no one knows who you are, then you won't get the ratings you deserve. And kind of agree with thoses tactics, because people are retards anyway, especially when they put the 'lol' in the movie so you are supposed to laugh... but I don't think anyone laughs. So go get a life and leave flash to the professionals." And that, is what you tell them.

Tell em to trie sprite animation, or to get gifs and make loops.