the first thing I learned to draw was DONALD DUCK. my dad taught me that...no he's not an artist. in fact I once scratched his red trans am with my bike pedal and was never so scared in my entire life. I dream i killed a man, and every time the burial spot is different. that's interesting.

I watched this show on the wind rotation on mercury. Got damn is that planet windy. I think I'd like to travel there and have the wind rip my face off. oh come on that's silly, I'd never wish that.

If you need some voice acting and your character is a macho arrogant dipshit, I am your man. If you need emotional range, go find a professional. I didn't really mean to ask me, no I don't want to voice any of your god damn characters.

I was handed a crumpled dollar bill as change at this place and I thought hey..people that walk around with money crumpled up into balls in their pockets are no friend of mine.

I'm tired of japanese videogames. Such nice production values and terrible story, dialogue and characters. Although Bayonetta plays so well I will give that one a pass. But seriously folks..

I once went to a job interview to be a door to door cutlery salesman. part of the training was to get everybody to stand in a line and give each other shoulder massages. I refused and ran out. there's a lot more to that story, but it might be too scary for kids.

I once made this huge list of everything I hated in life. out of it all I still think I hate washing the inside of car windshields the most. Heinz trying to market glass ketchup bottles and trying to get the ketchup out as "fun" is a close second. Also, wearing wet socks, minivans, circus peanuts, sand, pennies, speakers in front of fast food restaurants, neckties, woman comedians, adults that wear velcro sneakers, anything that's "ionized", driving on cobblestone streets, those electronic dartboard things that don't use real darts, the internet, people on the internet with opinions, metaphors, the word "wonderful", or at least when men say it, getting into a cold car in the winter, mail in rebates, old people with cameras, blazers, consultants, Boy Meets World, people I knew once that got really pretentious, I still hate facebook and twitter of course.. nobody cares about your pitiful life except other pitiful human beings but that is not something to be proud of. actions speak louder than words.

take that to the bank and deposit it you little fuckers. I mean that with love.

also, fuck dave matthews, I hated him since like 1996.